Patrick Malahide as DS Chisholm in High Drains Pilferer, Minder S04E03

Plot Overview

Not too impressed with Mickey’s big talk.

In High Drains Pilferer, Terry is on loan as a driver to Mickey “The Fish” Metcalfe (David Calder), a “legitimate businessman”. They discover that Susie’s, Mickey’s mistress, flat has been burgled to the tune of £30,000 (hmmmm, I have my doubts) of jewelry. Terry has a good idea who did it (an old-time cat burglar pal of his called Eddie Venables) but would never dream of  grassing him up. Arthur has other ideas when he gets it in his head that the insurance company would happily (and unquestioningly) hand over reward money to whoever could reacquaint Mickey and his bird with the ‘tom (foolerly)’ (jewelry). Rhyming slang is so fun 🙂

Now the Plot Sickens

DS Chisholm gets some great scenes.  He and Jones are called to the flat, which is paid for by Mickey.  Chisholm has his doubts that the place was even burgled and thinks it more likely that Mickey is just looking to claim the insurance.  He and Jones are all smirks and really get under Mickey’s skin.  “So what you’ve told us, miss, it would seem that this death defying act could only have been done while you were otherwise engaged in the bathroom, while Mickey here was on his way over on the wings of love, so to speak.”

The policemen finally go after getting all the known details.  But, before they leave, Chisholm asks Susie, “What is a well-brought-up girl like you doing in a place like this?” She responds, “Everything you dream about, Sergeant.”  Ha-ha-ha, good for Susie.  She burned him!

But, he does raise a point.  She speaks with a *very* affected posh accent, but Mickey doesn’t seem that wealthy or successful.  He went to Arthur to get a temp driver; that’s a bit sad.  The flat is certainly nice and well looked after,  but not anything particularly special.  I mean, really, it has a buzzer instead of a doorman for goodness sakes!!! 🙂 Even the jewelry in question is just loud and gaudy.  It is all very ‘meh’.  Maybe we’ve just been spoiled by far superior ‘legitimate businessmen’ like Jack Turner 😉

As Chisholm and Jones leave, they run into Terry on the stairs. “Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.  The plot sickens… What’re you doing here, McCann?”  Terry explains his connection with Mickey and says that it is all in the station notes that Jones was supposed to have read.  Uh-oh.  Chisholm immediately tenses up and is very cross with poor Jones, “I’ve got some of your reading to catch up on, first.  You know, just in case Lord Lucan hadn’t dropped in last night and you haven’t told me about it yet!”

Daley Has A Cunning Plan

Anyway, Arthur learns about the Eddie connection and goes to the insurers to see what sort of rewards are available should the jewelry be recovered.  His plan is for Eddie to hand over the jewelry, under anonymity, and they’d all (Arthur, Eddie and Terry) split the reward money.  The fatal flaw in his plan is that insurers don’t like giving reward money to thieves and conspirators.

At the insurance broker’s.

The insurance broker chucks Arthur out of his office and notifies the police: Chisholm and Jones.  Chisholm is so smug and doesn’t even bother getting a description of Daley, “Oh, don’t worry about that, sir.  I dare say we’ll recognize him one way or another, hey Jonesy?”   I love that bit 🙂  With that, Chisholm, wearing the wickedest grin, leaves the stunned broker.

So Chisholm leaves to harass Arthur for a bit, a favorite pastime of his.  Arthur tries to duck down and hide, but Chisholm easily scopes him out. “You’re facing the wrong way for Mecca.”  They press Arthur about the robbery, but he isn’t speaking.  “Alright, Daley, we can’t put matches under your fingernails…yet.”  Chisholm threatens to go to Mickey with the information he has, which terrifies Arthur.  “That is tantamount to intimidation!”  Then we get another wicked smile from Chisholm. “Isn’t it? Yes. We’ll let you sleep on it, Arthur. Perhaps you’ll get total recall at the prospect of all that hospital food.”

Enter Horrible Harbut

Enjoying a biscuit.

Enjoying a biscuit.

While this has been going on, the insurers have an ex-policeman investigating the claim.  When he learns of Terry’s involvement, he does some background research and learns that Terry did time with Eddie, a known cat burglar.  He takes the information to Chisholm, who is enjoying a nice tea and biscuit break (with a very cute chicken themed mug, awwww).

Harbot, the ex-policeman, remembers Chisholm.

Not impressed with Horrible Harbut either.

Chisholm isn’t impressed, “I remember you.  Horrible Harbut.  So what?”  Harbot snidely gives the information on Eddie, obviously implying that Chisholm hasn’t been doing his job properly.  Chisholm for his part continues chewing his biscuits and showing disdain.  But, he takes the file and asks Jones to “show the Lone Ranger out.”  He does show a lot more interest when alone and studies the file.

Meanwhile, Mickey has gotten his jewelry back after Eddie was ratted out by his fence.  Mickey and a couple goons go to the snooker hall that Eddie hangs out at.  Terry has also gone there to warn Eddie.  A big fight ensues.  Fortunately, Chisholm has also learned about Eddie’s whereabouts, so the police go in for the arrest.  Jones actually starts to run in, but is made to heel with a powerful “OY” from Chisholm.  They both walk slowly in and make their arrests with style.

DS Chisholm Wraps It Up

It is a really good episode and Malahide actually gets to portray DS Chisholm as much more competent than usual.  He is very confident and the stylish arrest at the end is great.  I am pretty sure a lot of that because Chisholm didn’t want to get whacked with any stray snooker balls or cues 🙂

Gallery, Courtesy of RFodchuk:


This entry was posted in Comedy, Drama, Minder, Photos, Television and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Patrick Malahide as DS Chisholm in High Drains Pilferer, Minder S04E03

  1. Pingback: Random Malahide Picture 8: Lachaise in "The World Is Not Enough"Patrick Malahide, An Appreciation

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *